Five Ways to Let Go of Being a Victim and Gain Control Over Your Life

      Listen to Episode the Welcome to Your Life Podcast Episode 58: Five Ways to Let Go of Being a Victim and Gain Control Over Your Life

Our new E-Book and Workbook selection from The Courageous Woman’s Book Club is entitled The Courageous Woman’s Guide to Stop Thinking Like a Victim.  This book was difficult for me to complete; as I worked through the exercises myself, I began to release the mind demons holding me captive. Finally, I realized that my thinking like a victim had helped me settle into my role as a casualty of my life way too comfortably, and it cost me money, time, relationships, and dignity. So, I wrote this book and workbook to help other women reclaim their lives from the trauma, disappointment, and betrayal that threatened to take them out.

     My question to you is, is a victim mindset keeping you from living up to your full potential and delaying your life’s purpose?  Do you feel that people get in your way and are plotting to keep you inside your current situation?  Do you feel because of past circumstances, you are not meant to succeed? Or have you been let down so often by others that you have lost your self-confidence?  I am here to tell you that despite the frustrations, setbacks, and the lack of trust you may have in others, you can change how you think and create the life you want to live.

     Thinking like a victim is not an isolated event; it can negatively permeate every area of your life, including your career, family, and other relationships. It can have a destructive impact on your ability to succeed at anything and trap you in a cycle of unhappiness and pain.   Besides these soul-crushing effects of thinking like a victim, there is another negative consequence I would like you to consider. When you think that you’re always the victim, you might avoid taking responsibility for anything, and if that is the case, you also feel like there’s nothing you can do to solve your challenges.

     Today I want to share with you five strategies that you can start using now to take back your life by taking responsibility for your situation and gaining the power to control how you react to your circumstances! Remember, change is scary even when trying to do something positive in your life, so let’s be brave; acknowledge that tackling your mindset is not easy, but it is necessary for a powerful life.    

     When you decide to try these strategies to dislodge your negative thinking and uproot your feelings of being a victim, you will set yourself free, and no one can do that for you except you.  These strategies will help you to increase your awareness and stop feeling sorry for yourself. 

  • Increase your awareness. if you think like a victim, you cannot help but feel sorry for yourself.  Feeling sorry for yourself is a heavy emotional weight to carry each day it drains your energy and blinds you to the positive things in your life.  What you are aware of, you can control and change. You will become more intentional in how you live.  When you feel your thinking steering you towards a thought of “why does this always happen to me,” you can recognize the belief and change course.
  •    Stop waiting for someone to rescue you. If you have followed me for any time, you know I believe in creating a village to support you while you are on your healing journey, but you shouldn’t expect your support system to solve all your issues.      If you’re bound by a victim mindset, you may be searching for someone to save you. However, this strategy can lead to more hurt feelings.  So, while it may be tempting to turn to your friends, family, coworkers, or neighbors for help.  It is unfair to put the weight of your recovery on the shoulders of others.   You might believe that you cannot change without the assistance of other people.   The truth is that you have the strength and power to change your own thoughts, but it will require you to recognize your inner courage and use it to change how you think. No one else can do this for you.
  • Be sure to take responsibility.   Don’t take the easy way out of blaming your circumstances on other people.  To heal this type of mindset, you must take control and acknowledge your own responsibility.  Taking responsibility for how you think will move you one step closer to eliminating the victim mindset. This is how you take back your power and your life.
  •  Try Prayer or meditation.  Prayer and meditation is a powerful tool.  It can calm the anxiety that change often brings and help you find peace. It can also help you turn inward, increase your self-awareness, and see your victim mindset.  Both will help you to realize how your mind and body react to negativity or stress. This allows you to focus your energy and change your thought process.  Now you can become an observer, find closure, and stop the victim cycle.
  • Discover and implement your favorite stress-relieving activity.  Stress only perpetuates thinking like a victim.  Meditation is one option I help my clients initiate for coping with stress. You may want to try yoga, swimming, running, walking, boxing, or other types of exercise. In addition, you can manage your stress by doing hobbies you love, such as knitting, reading, or drawing.  Managing your stress will empower you and help you create a new mindset that is stronger and healthier. 

     You can reclaim your power as you experiment with different stress-relieving activity.  In time you will learn how to avoid or diminish negative thinking in your personal space.  Your first response will not be to blame others, your luck, or your circumstances.  Instead, you will manage your emotions with calm and ease.  It is time to regain your power.

With Peace and Love,

Renee

Hi guys, my name is Renee.  I am a Certified Coach and Yoga teacher host of the award-winning Welcome to Your Life Podcast and the Courageous Woman’s Book Club founder.      Thank you so much for checking out today’s post.

This month our goal is to raise $700 for the Atlanta Mission to help support homeless moms and their children-download The Courageous Woman’s Guide to Stop Thinking Like a Victim E-Book and Workbook Bundle. You get both for only $5. Take control of your circumstances and create the life you want to live. We donate $1 from every purchase.

Join the Group: Ready to heal, connect, and grow? Join the free Welcome to Your Life! Facebook Group for training, support, and love

Check out past episodes of the Welcome to Your Life Podcast. Don’t forget to follow.

15 Strategies To Have Your Best Year Ever

Check out today’s video: 15 Ways To Have Your Best Year Ever Lunch & Learn
This is a new year and you have the power to make it anything you want. Check out today’s lunch and learn where I share 15 easy to implement strategies that will help you have the best year ever. Remember midlife is your time to shine!!!!!!
Take control of your life and have the best year you have ever experienced. With a little bit of effort each day, you can make that wonderful year you have dreamt of a reality. It is the small things that can make the most difference over time.

Make the most of the next 12 months with these 15 strategies:
Don’t forget to download your checklist for today’s lesson here: https://buff.ly/3nkvr6L

With Love and Peace,
Renee

I Leave the Past in the Past and Focus on the Future

Listen to Episode 47 of the Welcome to Your Life! Midlife Made Easier Podcast: I Leave the Past In The Past and Focus on the Future

I can stay focused on the present and the future. My ability to avoid dwelling on the past is increasing. I understand that thinking about the past has negative consequences.

There is nothing left for me in the past. I am glad that I learned from my past mistakes and successes. That is the best thing about the past – the lessons it provides. I take those lessons and apply them to my present. Focusing on the past, though, leads to regret.

I choose to look forward. I spend five minutes each day to imagine the future I wish to experience. I know that a compelling future is the best way to stay motivated and positive.

I work hard in the present to create my future. I can only interact with time in the present moment. I make the most of each moment and look forward to enjoying the future even more.

DOWNLOAD YOU COPY OF THIS WEEK’S AFFIRMATION HERE

I can let go of the past. Time spent on past regrets and mistakes lessens my ability to manage my life and generate success. I have more significant potential for happiness when I leave the past behind. I forgive those that have wronged me. I forgive myself for my past mistakes.

Today, I keep my attention on the present and the future. I am permanently leaving the past in my rearview mirror. I leave the past in the past and focus on the future.

Self-Reflection Questions:

  1. What is one mini goal I can focus on and accomplish this week?
  2. How can I enhance my ability to avoid focusing on the past?
  3. What are my goals for the future?
  4. What type of life do I dream of living?
  5. How will I feel when I accomplish this goal?

This Year You Will Take Action

Happy New Year my friends.  This beautiful year is just a blank slate waiting for you to put your special imprint on it.  One of my coaches sent me this, and I wanted to share it with all of you because this is the year of no excuses and no waiting for the perfect time.  The Time is Now! I changed a few things to make it more relevant to our midlife mission, but I want you to know that I believe in you, I believe in us, and together we are unstoppable. Don’t let your past trauma, failures, and unsupportive family members keep you from having the best year of your life.

Enjoy and take action

I want to talk about your IMPACT.

IN MIDLIFE Life comes down to two things:

#1: Who did you have the courage and audacity to become?

  • Were you brave?
  • Were you genuinely excellent in everything you did?
  • Did you live with authenticity?
  • Were you following your own values and truth?

#2: How many people did you help?

  • How much value did you create?
  • How many people did you profoundly impact?


The bottom line?

YOU must believe in YOU.

Because the world needs to see your mastery. The world needs you to transform lives.

And the world needs you to TAKE ACTION

…even when things are scary and uncertain.

Don’t give up on your vision and ambition.

No matter what.

GO ALL IN.

Commit to NO EXCUSES.

Because beneath every excuse is a FEAR.

But beneath every ELITE athlete, professional career woman and thought leader…

…is the strength to PERSEVERE.

  • Bravery is a muscle. 
  • Creativity is a muscle. 
  • Mastery is a muscle.


Use it or lose it.

  • So, if you want to 2x your IMPACT…
  • You need to 2x the investment in yourself. Your education. Your business.
  • When you know more, you can produce more, and you can achieve more.


STILL do not believe me.

Then start believing in YOURSELF.


Because you give yourself what you feel you deserve.

If you do not feel you deserve greatness, you will find ways to sabotage yourself.

So if you are not getting what you deserve…

Think about this:

  • Are you getting in your own way?
  • Are you struggling to be and do what you are made to do?
  • Are you spinning your wheels?


Maybe it’s time to give yourself what you TRULY deserve.

Be better.
Be amazing.
Be LEGENDARY.

Stop w-a-i-t-i-n-g for the perfect story. Or the “perfect” timing.

Other people deserve to hear your story.
Other people deserve to have your help.

You were MADE for this.

Step up to the plate. It is your time.

And I would love to help.  If you are ready to soar this year, then schedule your free Empowerment Call with me, let’s discover what is holding you back together. Problems do not solve themselves, but you have the solution.  Let’s find it together.

With Love and Peace,

Renee

Health Mistake #2 Ignoring Your Heart Health

“Most women between the ages of 40 and 60 have at least one risk factor for heart disease. And, heart disease is still the leading cause of death for women in the United States strokes are number four. You can protect yourself by getting regular check-ups, incorporating daily physical activity (at least 150 minutes per week), including two weight training activities, and of course eating a healthy diet.

Your meals should center around healthy grains, fruits and vegetables, and lean proteins. Watch your weight and manage your blood sugar. I lost my grandmother, father, and younger brother to heart disease. Take care of your heart, your family will thank-you!

With Peace and Love,

Renee

Let me help you lose your next eight Join me for the next cohort of the Couch to 5K Walking and Clean Eating Challenge Training starts on October 4th -Race Day is October 31st each participant in the 5K program will receive a beautiful medal and bragging rights. Check out the Entire Program Here! See you at the starting line.



Hi guys, my name is Renee.  When I stopped dieting and began to love my body, I lost 43 pounds, reversed my prediabetes, and created a life I love.  I help mid-life women lose weight without dieting by helping them to increase their self-confidence, self-love, and self-care without guilt.  My gift to you Beating the Midlife Slump! 10 Strategies to Help You Boost Your Self Confidence, Self-Love, and Self-Care

#midlifewomen  #wtyl #fitbabyboomer #atlantapodcast #midlifecrisis #genxwomen midlifewellness #midlifeaffirmation #midlifebeauty #fiftyplusbeauty #fortypluswomen #healthandwellness  #diabeticwomen #midlifecrisis #midliferesilience  #selfcare #selflove #midlifedetermination #menopause #hotflashes #bellyfat #inflammation #overfiftyandfit #empoweringwomen #midlifestyle

Three Ways to Fight Age Discrimination in the Workplace

Listen to WTYL Podcast Episode 43 Three Ways to Fight Age Discrimination in the Workplace

While its been 50 years since Congress passed the Age Discrimination in Employment Act, unfortunately, ageism is one of the ism’s that is still sociably acceptable in the United States.  Age discrimination is real. Two out of three workers between ages 45 and 74 say they have seen or experienced age discrimination at work, and job seekers over age 35 cite it as a top obstacle to getting hired. And if you happen to work in the high-tech or entertainment industries, your chances of experiencing age discrimination are even higher.”

Older workers have been called names at work like old school, geezer, or grandpa, but many do not report these offenses for fear of rocking the boat and missing out on a promotion. But there are tools you can use to protect yourself against this type of discrimination. Your first step is to make sure that you are doing something you still enjoy, this is part of your mindful self-care strategy.

  1. Keep abreast of new technological advances, if you need to, take a class at the local community college or library.  Technology is here to stay, and we, as Midlifers, must be prepared to show that we understand it and can apply in our current or future positions.
  2. Create your own gig, use your gifts and talents to finally start the business you have dreamt of, and become your own boss.  Even if you are not ready to quit your job, having another stream of income will give you financial security and possibly replace your full-time income.
  3. Get fit, we would like to think that our appearance does not matter, but the truth is that we are continuously judged by the way we look. Increase your self-care, workout, eat healthy food, and spend some quiet time mindfully thinking about your goals and dreams.  Getting fit and increasing your self-care will boost your confidence and improve your attitude.

You might face an uphill battle when it comes to fighting age discrimination in your workplace. If you feel that you have been unjustly discriminated against, document the offense, and reach out to your HR department.  If your HR department is not able to handle the matter to your satisfaction, the Age Discrimination in Employment Act (ADEA) is your next line of defense against age discrimination. This is a federal law that says an employer cannot fire, refuse to hire, or treat you differently than other employees because of your age. 

The world may be changing, and others may forget, but you must always know your value!

With Peace and Love,

Renee

Download Now!  Beating the Midlife Slump! 10 Strategies to Help You Boost Your Self Confidence, Self-Love, and Self-Care

Join the private Welcome To Your Life Midlife Made Easier Facebook group, a curated community exclusively for fun-loving midlife. Learn from and connect with other midlife women this is your village a safe place to vent your concerns and celebrate your wins.  Click here to join (note: you must answer the questions to be considered).

Work with me! Let me help you lose your next 8 pounds. I am looking for women over 40 who are looking, lose weight naturally, reduce their stress, increase their joy, and begin the journey of making peace with their bodies. If this is you, sign up here.  Sign-up before 9.20.20 and receive 50% off coaching package. No coupon necessary.       

#midlifewomen  #wtyl #fitbabyboomer #atlantapodcast #midlifecrisis #genxwomen midlifewellness #midlifeaffirmation #midlifebeauty #fiftyplusbeauty #fortypluswomen #healthandwellness  #diabeticwomen #midlifecrisis #midliferesilience  #selfcare #selflove #midlifedetermination #menopause #hotflashes #bellyfat #inflammation #overfiftyandfit #empoweringwomen #midlifestyle

Stop Accepting Your Weight Gain and Fight Back!

Listen to Episode 42 WTYL Podcast Stop Accepting Your weight Gain and Fight Back!

Midlife can be an exciting time, but it can also bring about some changes to our bodies, that can be hard to accept—one of those being weight gain.  The problem occurs not when we gain the weight, but, when we begin to accept that this is just the way things must be. 

 As we get older, weight gain is a surety for most women.  As we go through menopause, the loss of muscle and hormonal changes can result in a decrease in energy expenditures.    “If you eat the same things and exercise the same amount as you did in your thirties, you could potentially still gain weight,” said Soltes. “Women don’t want to hear that, but it is biology.”

To combat weight gain, we must do two things. Exercise and watch what we eat.  The American Heart Association and the CDC suggest that 150 minutes of moderate exercise can work wonders to help you lose weight, build muscle, and increase heart health.  If working out for 30 minutes, all at once makes you cringe.  Feel free to split it up into 15-minute increments.

The second thing you must tackle is the way you eat.  No one was more surprised than I to realize that I could not eat the way I use to when I 35.  I had five babies, three of them are only two years apart.  I ate whatever I wanted, and after the babies came, started back to running, and the weight literally fell off.  

All of that changed when menopause hit, suddenly my belly and knee fat exploded, and I went from a size 10 to an 18 in a matter of months. 

 A study published in the American Journal of Health Promotion followed nearly 200 middle-aged women for three years, tracking eating patterns, overall health, and lifestyle. The researchers found women who did not change their eating habits as they aged were 138 percent more likely to put on about six pounds or more during midlife.

Eating healthy does not have to be overwhelming, watch your portions, and eat more fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins.  Which means cutting back on caramel latte’s, French fries, and chocolate milkshakes.   

It is estimated that about 60% of American women are overweight, and 1/3 of these women are obese.  Carrying that extra weight could mean join pain, strokes, diabetes, or heart disease, all of which could be detrimental to the lifestyles we want to lead.

Yes, our bodies change as we get older, but we do not have to become complacent and accept those changes, we can fight back with good nutrition and exercise. You are worth it.

Which one do you think it would be easier to start today, exercising for 30 minutes or eating healthier meals? Let us know in the comments.

With Love and Peace,

Renee

Download Now!  Beating the Midlife Slump! 10 Strategies to Help You Boost Your Self Confidence, Self-Love, and Self-Care

Whenever you are ready, here are two ways I can help you create the future you’ve always wanted:

Join the private Welcome To Your Life Midlife Made Easier Facebook group, a curated community exclusively for fun-loving midlife. Learn from and connect with other midlife women this is your village a safe place to vent your concerns and celebrate your wins.  Click here to join (note: you must answer the questions to be considered).

Self-Care and Your Career: 3 Ways to Make Sure That You Are Still Doing Something You Love

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Listen to Episode 40 of the Welcome to Your Life! Midlife Made Easier Podcast :Self-care and your career: Make sure that you are still doing something you love

There was a time when you joined a company, you were expected to stay in their employ until you retired.  But, that is no longer the case, especially as the pandemic continues to force companies to close or drastically reduced their workforce.   Even in these unprecedented times, you must see your choice of career as a way of engaging in your self-care.   Doing work that you love and find purposeful can be instrumental in helping you to reduce your stress.   “Living in a world of ‘always on’ culture can wreak havoc on you physically, emotionally, and spiritually,” Amy Blaschka says in Forbes. “Constantly grinding leads to burnout, anxiety, and stress-related illnesses.” 

So, what do you do when you want to change careers in midlife? It can be very disheartening seeking a new career path or even a new job within the same field when you a midlife woman.  It can seem as though your experience and education are overlooked as employers seek to hire younger, less experienced, and less costly staff.   But, there are things that you can do to ensure that you get the position you want.

Make sure that you running to something, rather than away from something. If you are miserable in your current position, you may gravitate towards anything that looks better. However, there are more beneficial ways to decide.

  • Any exit looks good when the building is on fire. You will be more likely to be happy with your career change if you take the time to choose the best field for you. The more you dislike your current job, the more critical it is to take a deep breath and examine all your options.

Avoid a career decision based on financial considerations. Of course, salary is a part of the decision-making process, but using it as the sole criteria can yield disappointing results. Money, even a large amount, probably will not make up for spending 8+ hours a day in misery at your job.

  • Midlife is not the time to take on more stress as stress tends to have more health issues, which are expensive, too.

Do not be averse to obtaining the necessary training and education first. Midlife is not the time to stop learning, do not try to change careers without updating your skills, and having the required credentials in place. You might look at volunteering or becoming a temporary employee to get the necessary experience. This will also help you to ascertain if this is the move you want to take.

When you begin the search, be sure to show yourself some self-compassion.  Network with colleagues in your new field and ask for an introduction or referral.  Do not practice negative self-talk; this will only delay your progress, speak kindly to yourself, and surround yourself with a nourishing support system.

Ladies, I hope you enjoyed today’s show. Remember that just because you are in midlife does not mean you have to continue doing something you no longer love.  Be encouraged, and let your passion be your guide.  Do not forget to share this podcast with someone you love and

Whenever you are ready:

Join the private Welcome to Your Life Midlife Made Easier Facebook group, a curated community exclusively for fun-loving midlife women. Learn from and connect with other midlife women; this is your village, a safe place to vent your concerns and celebrate your wins.  Click here to join (note: you must answer the questions to be considered).

.#midlifewomen  #wtyl #fitbabyboomer #atlantapodcast #midlifecrisis #genxwomen #midlifewellness #midlifeaffirmation #midlifebeauty #fiftyplusbeauty #fortypluswomen #healthandwellness  #diabeticwomen #midlifecrisis #midliferesilience  #selfcare #selflove #midlifedetermination #menopause #hotflashes #bellyfat #inflammation #overfiftyandfit #empoweringwomen #midlifestyle

Five Tips on Finding a Gym You’ll Love and Use This Year!

I know it’s the middle of January, but, Happy New Year, my sister, I know that 2020 is going to be a fantastic year for us, as we grow spiritually, heal emotionally, and get physically fit.  Like millions of midlife women across the land, you have probably decided that it is time for you to revisit the idea of regular exercise.  I don’t have to tell you the benefits of regular exercise especially for women over 40, but my momma/coaching instincts are kicking in, and I want to make sure that you understand that putting in the physical work now could save you from not just weight gain but brittle bones, compromised immune systems, loss of energy, Type 2 Diabetes and heart disease.

But, how do you find a gym that you will love enough to use three times per week after the excitement of the New Year has subsided.  You know, there are so many weight loss programs, new and exciting exercise equipment like the Peloton bike, but the hard truth is that as a country we are more out of shape today than any time in our history.

My own quest for the perfect gym in 2019 had me feeling like Goldilocks.  The first gym was close to home but didn’t have the classes I loved or a pool.  The second gym had classes and a pool, but the yoga classes were more like physical fitness classes instead of the quiet meditative qualities I love in yoga, plus I wanted a gym that offered more fun networking events.  That led me to my third gym, it had the classes I love, a pool, and fun networking events.  But again, the yoga classes felt like I was in a middle school gym class.  So, you guessed it, I joined a yoga studio.   By the end of 2019, I had four fitness memberships.  Thankfully, they have all ended.  But I want to make sure you don’t make the same mistakes.

Here five tips that will help you find a gym that you will love or at least one that you will visit as much in July as you will in January:

  1. First, pick a gym that is close to home.  That way, whether you rock your workout at 5 a.m. or 5 p.m.  You will not have to drive more than 15-20 minutes out of your way to workout.  So, check out the gyms in your local area. Make sure that it has ample parking, and ample lighting, if you are going before the sun, comes out.  You don’t want to give yourself any reasons for not actually parking your car and walking into the building.
  2. Check your budget:  It’s always exciting to start something new, even a new workout routine, the pull of getting our bodies ready for the beach are undeniable.  But, make sure that the monthly fees fit in your household budget.  Read the contract and check for additional cancellation fees.  Nothing puts a damper in your motivation to workout than worrying about how you are going to pay the monthly fees.  Also, if your gyms fees are being automatically withdrawn, check your bank statement to make sure that you are only being charged the amount on your contract.
  3. Pick a gym that has activities you love:   If you just want to work out on the treadmill, the bike, or elliptical and lift weights, a gym like Planet Fitness could be all that you need.   I enjoyed my membership at Planet Fitness, they have enough machines and weight equipment that even during peak times you could probably get in an out within an hour.  But I also needed my weekly yoga fix, so I then had to join a yoga studio.  My advice is to look for a gym that has everything you need for a complete fitness routine.   If you enjoy aerobics or yoga classes, then look for a gym that has a regular line up of those classes.  Visit a couple of classes to get a feel for the instructor, and then choose the class you love, make a commitment to yourself to attend that class every week.  Put it on your schedule, lock it in, make it a non-negotiable use of your time.
  4. Partner with an accountability partner: most gyms have personal trainers who will help you to get back into the groove after a long fitness hiatus, but they will also act as your accountability partner, helping you get the most out of your visit each week.  Some personal trainers will even give you a call if you miss a week.  You can also grab a friend and pinkie swear to help keep each other motivated and engaged throughout the year. 
  5. Check out the culture: Every gym, like every workplace, has its own culture.  Find one that is right for you.  To do so, ask yourself the following questions, do you want a gym where you can work out and attend social activities?  Do you want a gym that is oriented more towards accommodating the needs of families? Do you want that is oriented more towards adults and children persona non grata?  

The bottom line is that you need to find a gym that is close to home, affordable, has the equipment and classes you need for a complete fitness routine.  You will need an accountability partner to help keep you going to the gym when your motivation starts to disappear, and you want to make sure that the culture of the gym is one that fits your personality and your needs at this time in your life.

There are 168 hours in a week.  We owe it to ourselves to take 150 minutes a week to get our minds and bodies in tip-top shape.  Let’s face it, you may not always enjoy working out, but exercising regularly will help you enjoy your life and increase your gratitude level.   I promise!